BLISS RATING: ★★★★+
“Sometimes to love is easy, but to accept love is hard.” – Brent Weeks
Magnificent! However, I am also cheating here a little. This is not a BL series but there are none (or at least I could not find any) BL series from India. This movie was highly recommended by several reviewers and as such, I decided to watch it. It is a ‘coming out’ movie of Kartik (Devanish Doshi) who comes home to visit his mother, Vashuda by (Mona Ambegaonkar) and his father, Damador (Ananth Narayan Mahadevan).
The father/son relationship is already strained because his father is a demanding and somewhat arrogant person who treats others as personal property. Kartik is gay and has a boyfriend, named Aman (Arpit Chaudhary). Kartik is home because the father is trying to arrange a marriage for him to a local woman. Now begins the drama. Yes, this is a typical basis for a coming out story but how they told it is truly breathtaking. It is so well done with all the sensitivity to culture, customs, and mores of the conservative town and country.
Kartik finally works up the nerve to tell his mother that he is gay in a profoundly interesting way. He tells her on a boat ride in the river. The symbolism is simply magical here. As the mother reacts to this news, the boat sways and dips from her reactions but it does not turn over. They slowly make their way over to the shore. Again, symbolically telegraphing that the process of acceptance will be slow, steady, but ultimately be on solid ground. When Kartik tells Aman of his coming out to his mother, he tells him of one of the most profound lines I have ever heard and to a large degree one I had never considered before. He says to Aman, “I’ve come out of the closet, but I locked her in.” That is such an astute observation and one that is so obvious. When one tells another that they are gay, it does now lock that person in a room filled with quandaries. In this case, however, there is such a bond between mother and son that is unshakable and unbreakable.
Slowly, as she reflects and prays, begins to realize that this is her son whom she bore and raised. She begins to defend him to others especially to the father. Kartik will decide when it is time for him to marry when the father asks about Kartik getting married. Although Kartik is deeply appreciative of his mother’s defense, she says to him that the discussion about his marriage has been averted — not forgotten and this gives him some time to think about how to handle all of this. There is a beautiful discussion with his mother about how they both have to begin the long journey of acceptance and that they both have new discoveries to find.
But their bond is unshakable and grows stronger by the day. Aman as he talks to Kartik over the phone, tells him to give his mother some time to accept this and to see that he is in a good place. The mother sees this firsthand when Kartik talks to Aman, this new light of knowing. She can sense and feel the connection and yes love that they have for each other. Mother knows.
When the father inadvertently finds pictures of Kartik and Aman embracing each other, he loses it and beats Kartik. The father attempts to ritualistically perform a funeral rite for Kartik but Vashuda finally stands up for herself and for her son. In one of the most beautifully impassioned speeches I have ever heard about motherhood, she tells Damador that this will not happen and makes sure it does not happen. She is now willing to accept Kartik and Aman and support them. And as she says, “Always. Forever”. There is such a wonderful and amazing connection that mother and son have that it brings this story to life and adds a glimmer of hope. This story would be deeply tragic as the father seems unwilling to acknowledge his son, but mother is the foundation for change in the household that I think it shall take hold. She is beginning to spread her wings and become truer to herself. In so doing, there will be change.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. the series? There are astonishing and powerful performances by so many of the actors and actresses in this move, but the one that stands out the most is Mona Ambegaonkar as Kartik’s mother. This performance is simply brilliant. Going against conventional standards, she fights aggressively for her son and his love. The convictions she gave to this role is nothing short of magnificent. I so believed her and wish she could be a mother for all the troubled gays that are out there. Kudos for her performance and making it so real.
There is a side story here that may, unfortunately, not always be uncommon but still completely disturbing. Kartik has an uncle named Ramesh (Abhay Kulkarni), who is a frustrated and an overtly assertive closeted gay who tries very hard to get Kartik to have sex with him. Kartik obviously wants nothing to do with him in that sense. In one of his discussions with his mother, Kartik tells his mother that his first sexual experience with a guy was in the family garden, and it was with his uncle.
She is horrified and wanted to know if he molested him, but Kartik defends him and says no that he willingly participated. This is uncomfortable as we are not sure how old he was when this happened and the obvious undue influence the ‘uncle’ has over a family member. This matter-of-fact approach to this topic, while well meaning, was uncomfortable at best and perhaps sexually abuse at worst. In either case, it is a very sad and tragic chapter in the life of Kartik and his uncle. The repression of the uncle being able to accept who he is and needing to slink around in dark corners of a park is all too often the case, no matter what the society is. And for Kartik to have his first sexual experience with an uncle is daunting and no doubt may eventually feel regrettable. (Sheer speculation on my part).
This story is so beautifully told and filmed. All of the actors are so well cast, and they put everything into their roles, especially Devanish and Mona. They are so believable and established a bond between each other from the very beginning with it simply growing more intense at the end of the story. I cannot recommend this movie highly enough especially for families that may be struggling with individual members who might be gay and are not yet able to share that. As I said in the beginning, this is not a BL series, but it is a story of gay love, of acceptance, and true connection between mother and son and is worthy of much consideration.
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