BLISS RATING: ★★★★★
“The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It is a perpetual wound.” – Unknown
Complex, twisted, and brilliant. Loosely translated, the tile in English is, FUJO, INADVERTANTLY COME TO GAY. It is an extremely emotionally complicated story, going from gay to straight to gay in a confusing and dizzying fashion of emotions. Andou Jun, played with effulgence by Daichi Kaneko, is a reserved high school student who is hiding a big secret that is weighing in on him. He is gay and is having an affair with an older man, Sasaki Makoto (Shosuke Tanihara). Makoto is a married man with a family but is very much in love with Jun. All of this is of course a secret and weighs heavily on Jun’s mind. He continuously mulls over what his life will be like. Will it be like Makoto? He meets a fellow classmate, Miura Sae (Ryoko Fujino), at a bookstore buying BL books.
She is close to being a Fujoshi. (Actually, she is). Miura is embarrassed that Jun saw her buy these BL books and begs him to not say anything about this to her other classmates, as she lost friends over it in middle school. Knowing who he is, that thought never crossed his mind. She convinces Jun to go with her to a convention of Yaoi so that they will both keep their secrets. He does agree to go because he is curious and is pretty much a loner.
This starts the journey of him becoming close to Miura and they become friends. However, as the friendship grows, it is obvious that Miura is enamored with Jun and begins to fall in love with him. Jun likes being with Miura and begins to think that maybe, just maybe, he could be ‘normal’. His mother wants him to get married and have a family. So, he begins to think of Miura as more than a friend and believes he could fall in ‘love’ with her. And in a sense, he does. But not in a romantic way but more platonic, initially. He does try to do things that are ‘normal’ but when push comes to shove, he simply cannot. He endeavors to feel the meat buns as practice for breasts which is hysterical but when the actual performance is happening, he begins to think about Makoto. And down it goes. This is such a classic tale of a gay guy trying to pretend all is well and he can be normal and do normal things. Unfortunately, the equipment malfunctions.
Jun is too into the gay lifestyle that WE know it will not work. In a sense, I felt he had a strong connection to Makoto and relied on him for the human touch and emotional and psychological support that he was otherwise not getting from anyone else. In the meantime, Miura continues to fall more deeply in love with him. Concurrently, he has this rather strange and complex relationship with a guy (whom he does not know) online named Mr. Fahrenheit, voiced by Kensho Ono. They share with each other what is going on with one another and Jun relies on him heavily for the daily support he needs to cope with what is happening. Their online connection becomes intense and intimate. Quite literally what helps Jun through this is the introduction of music from Queen. Jun is fixated on Queen and this whole story centers on the music from Queen.
Mr. Fahrenheit’s life is like Jun’s in the sense he has an older boyfriend also. But his is tragic. On his birthday, his boyfriend dies of AIDS. Mr. Fahrenheit decides to let Jun know that he is killing himself as he wants to be with his love but ask Jun for one last request. He would like Jun to put a CD of Queen on his grave. Jun is absolutely heart broken, confused, and shocked and tries to process that the one real true friend that he has that knows him deeply, perhaps a person whom he could have loved, is gone and so is the continuous source of support and encouragement will also be gone.
This is all happening at a spa where he is at with Miura and her sister and boyfriend. Makoto happens to be there and sees Jun distraught and comforts him and they start to kiss. Miura sees this embrace and thus starts a complex road to self-discovery on everyone’s part. Here the story takes weird, strange twists and becomes very convoluted. In reality, Jun’s secret crush is for his (very) handsome best friend Takaoka Ryouhei (Yuki Ogoe). They have been friends since early childhood and are very close.
Takaoka does not know Jun is gay. To twist the story even further, Tokaoka has had a secret (yet not so secret) crush on Miura for a long time but ironically pushes Miura and Jun together. (The silliness of young love). Jun finds this out by an odd friend of all of theirs named Ono Yuusuke (Shuichiro Naito). I loved this character and Naito plays this role brilliantly. He is enigmatic and almost sinister. He seems overly protective of Tokaoka and tells Jun that Tokaoka has a secret crush on Miura and Jun is to break it off so that he can pursue her. But he does not. Jun deepens the relationship with Miura. This was a twist I did not expect and was confused by it all. Jun had an opportunity to gracefully break off the budding romance with Miura but deliberately chooses to continue knowing (forthrightly) that this behavior had to be hurtful to Miura, his best friend, and of course to himself. A rather selfish act that leads to dire consequences later.
After Miura sees Jun with his lover, they do talk but overhearing the conversation is Yuusuke who hears that Jun is gay and is angry and upset about how Jun has treated Miura and subsequently Tokaoka. He then proceeds to tell everyone that Jun is gay and therefore is a sick, perverted person. And here is where it takes a tragic path. Yuusuke shreds Jun’s ego and strength to where he feels completely hopeless and takes a rash action. Jun goes onto the ledge at the school and is threatening to jump, telling Miura how sorry he is and that he had a crush on Tokaoka for a long time. Tokaoka and Mirua try desperately to talk him out of jumping but unfortunately, he does anyway. Luckily, he does not die but only suffers some severe broken bones.
Obviously, Jun’s mother knows why he is in the hospital but rather than deal with it honestly, she wants to pretend that all will be all copacetic. Jun is angry that she still does not recognize that he is gay. Slowly, but steadily, the mother begins to accept the reality of who and what her son is. Miura and Tokaoka do come to visit Jun. But Miura is no longer the immature girl into BL. She has come to some self-realizations also and begins to share those realizations at the school assembly. She explains to the whole school the relationship they had but also cries out that she is in pain too and essentially still loves him. Being the ever so angry Yuuske, he jumps up and grabs the microphone and screams at Jun that he is not the only one who has been hurt but so is Miura and Tokaoka and what is he going to do about it.
At the end, which I must confess I did not fully appreciate, Jun goes up to Miura and as she says to kiss her in front of the whole audience, he does. I honestly did not get that or understand it until at the end when he able to explain the various degrees of love that he maintains. I totally understand the hurt that Miura felt but I could not figure out whether she was trying to see or manipulate Jun into loving her again. It seemed so contrived and manipulated with an unknown outcome. Why? But here again, we do crazy things in the name of love and she continued to hold out hope that they would still be together.
I truly feel bad for Jun’s best friend who by his own hand manipulated Miura and Jun to be together, even though he liked her. Jun is selfish in the sense that he was using her to discover himself which is wrong. He was not thinking of the impact and consequences of his actions onto others. This does not make him an honest person. And it does not make him a bad person. It makes him human. Most gay people KNOW the difficulty of confronting ‘coming out’ especially in a very repressed and closed society. It is not easy, and we make lots of mistakes, and sometimes must put up with the bullying and abuse from others. These are life lessons learned at an early age.
Here again, as with other BL series, while I applaud them bring up the subject of suicide, it is yet again so cavalierly treated. This is a serious problem and cannot be thought of as simply a part of ‘growing up’. NO one talked to him about his attempted suicide — neither his mother nor his friends. This I simply did not understand, nor could I accept. While I appreciate the hurt and pain that Miura and Tokaoka felt due to Jun’s short sightedness, it is no match for the pain and anguish of ‘coming out’ as you must face that reality for the rest of your life. Their pain is episodic; his is forever. Who is most difficult to understand is Yuuske. He is angry but there is something more. Jun’s does confront him with the brutal knowledge that he should not be ashamed of his true feelings himself for Tokaoka. I do believe deep down that this is his motivation. He is in love with Tokaoka as well but it is so buried and painful that it will likely not surface and so he lashes out and takes it out on persons who are able to express their feelings. The other piece of it could be that he is in love with Jun. All Yuuske’s actions say so much more than his words but we are not sure what he is really trying to convey. Another byproduct of a rigid, oppressed, and intolerant society.
Quite by accident, I found the last episode translated into English by a fan (thank you!). Without that episode, this entire story would have been distorted and would not have come to a magnificent ending. Jun has one more task to do and that is to deliver the CD of Queen on the grave. He and Miura go to Mr. Fahrenheit’s home and discover that he was a 15-year-old boy, suffering from Chunibyo. (This is a term to describe middle school — eighth grade — boys who manifest delusional fantasies). It is such a moving and profoundly sad scene and such an incalculable loss because of some delusional ideology. The pain is almost overwhelming.
To be honest, I had to pause and compose myself as that scene so deeply affected me. Jun explains to Mr. Fahrenheit’s mother that he is gay but loves Miura not in a sexual sense (and never will) but in a profoundly deeply personal sense, just like Queen’s song, “Love of My Life’. It was at that point, Miura, from the expression on her face, finally realizes that his love for her, although intense, is not the same as her love for him. It is an abjectly moving scene filled with so much angst yet understanding. In this last scene, he also has a chance to say a final good-bye to his older lover with the wisdom and foresight of beginning a new life. He also discovers where he truly fits into Makoto’s life. Jun is moving so he and his mother can start a new life. He also says good-bye to his best friend, Takaoka, and when he asks Jun if he loves him, Jun confesses that he does but not in a romantic sense. We know of course that is not true. But Jun wants him, Takaoka, to live his life as he sees fit and not have that burden hanging over him. It is one of the sincerest scenes in this series.
In its entirety, this is one of the finest BL series out there. It is so incredibly moving, complex, and filled with early life’s accomplishments and utter failures. We see Jun in a totally new light from before. A person who has grown emotionally, psychologically, and is now secure in the knowledge of who he is and more importantly what he is. I think he will make it even though he lives is a society where such behaviors are still intolerable and repressed and thought to be an aberration.
The final scene, as he introduces himself to his classmates, starts to perhaps reveal something of himself but fades to silence. You may interpret that as you wish but it left me in tears. We do not know but I am hoping it is the opening of a new beginning. In the end, as Miura says her goodbyes to Jun, she explains to him why she thinks homosexuals exit. She says, “I think God is a Fujoshi!” I think she is right! Maybe God really is that! This is an amazing series that keeps you guessing as to where it was going.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. the series? Daichi is simply brilliant in this series. He plays the role of Jun with such tenderness, introspection, and an intense focus on who Jun is and why. He never overplays the role and seems intensely focused on finding out who Jun is, no matter the cost. With his striking beauty and laid-back approach, he becomes even more irresistible as a person. In real life, he would indeed be a person drawing great attraction. What he is able to do so brilliantly is to compartmentalize love into classes that affects him deeply. His love for his older lover. His love for his girlfriend. His love for his best friend. His love for his mother. His love for Mr. Fahrenheit. And finally, and almost not found, the love for himself. We see it at the end, and he brilliantly takes us on this magnificent journey into his different tunnels of love. We understand them too.
This is simply a brilliant series filled with top rate acting by all the cast. Exceptional and breathtaking.
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