BLISS RATING: ★★★★+
“Fear is not a feeling. It’s a habit, and I try not to make habits of trying to flee.” – Quote from Funny Boy
This is a fascinating story of growing up gay not only in a country that forbids homosexuality but a story that takes place at the beginning of the major conflicts between the Tamil-Sinhalese conflict in Sri Lanka. As a typical American, I knew nothing about this conflict. That saddened me that I did not even know that there was such an ethnic conflict. In essence, this made the story even more poignant as it is a gay love story between individuals in these two warring ethnic groups.
The story centers around a young boy who does not fit into his world. Arjey, played by Arush Nand, is a precocious young boy who does not like doing boy things and prefers the company of his slightly non-conformist aunt, Radha, played by Agam Darshi. She sees him for who he is and provides a safe space for Arjey to begin to accept his true self and allows him to see and feel that he is all right. As hard as she tries to live her life the way she wants to, the pressures of family, culture, customs, ethnicity, and traditions finally win out and she too must conform with what the expectations for her are. But Arjey’s seed of discovery and conformity has been altered and he indeed grows up ‘different’.
Fast forward a number of years as he attends an academy for boys where the ethnic differences are beginning to become more pronounced. As a member of the Tamil sect, Arjey, now played by Brandon Ingram, is in the minority and therefore taunted. But one student, Sheehan, (Rehan Mudannayake), defends him and soon a friendship develops, even though Sheehan is a Sinhalese.
As their friendship develops, they become attracted to each other and quickly develop a sexual relationship. Sheehan lives by himself with posters of David Bowie and the Eurythmics and is fond of quoting Oscar Wilde. This becomes their sanctuary to be themselves. They are able to explore their sexuality, judgement free, and in secrecy. Indeed, they fall in love with one other but know how perilous this type of relationship can be.
When Sheehan finally comes to visits Arjey, the father accidently catches them together. The result is the family forbids him to be with Sheehan. But Arjey harkens back to the words that he learned in school – to be who he wants to be. And, flashing back to the guidance from his favorite aunt to be himself, sustains him. Despite the consternations, he continues to see and be with Sheehan.
Unfortunately, the conflict between the Tamil and Sinhalese sects boils into major conflict and the family is forced to flee to Canada. Sheehan and Arjey can have only a brief moment to say good-bye and exchange their love for each other, knowing in all likelihood that will be the last time they will be together.
Despite its lack of grittiness with the approach to the conflict a bit too polished and sanitized, this is still a heartbreaking story of the trials and tribulations of someone being gay not only in a repressed society but from a society under ethnic cleansing. While the story is powerful and tells a tale that really needs to be shared, it does so with just a bit too much prudence. I can only imagine from an emotional level what it must be like to be gay in a society that not only suppresses it, but makes it illegal, coupled with the constant threat simply because of your ethnicity.
The picture is indeed a bit too rosy as it just glimpses and whispers what the real truth of the trauma was. When Arjey and Sheehan had to say good-bye, I cried because it was a good-bye forced on both by dynamics not under either’s control or desires. This was coerced which made the separation even more difficult and bitter. Sadness is not strong enough of an explanation. Despairing, maybe. Forbidding, more so.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. the movie? It is a difficult choice as so many of them were excellent. However, the key (for me) in this story is Radha, the aunt, played so beautifully by Agam Darshi. She had returned from Toronto and a bit of a free-spirit and non-conformist. She has recognized Arjey’s difference and rather than try to suppress it, teaches him to embrace it and be himself. She teaches him to say to himself, “Don’t mess with the grand diva”. She shows him how to paint his toenails as a form of self-expression since he can cover them up and not get into trouble. In other words, she ‘knows’ he is gay. As free spirited as she is, there are limitations. After falling in love with a Sinhalese young man, she knows it will not work and is forced to marry one of her own kind. Agam plays this role with such depth. You can see the levels of frustration, anger, and bitterness of her face as she lacks the ability to change anything in her live. Her demeanor simply becomes one of depressed acceptance. You see the sadness and change in her, not so much with words, but with body language and a deeply saddened and reflective face. A profoundly moving performance.
This story is about gayness, but ironically, that word is never spoken or even hinted in this entire movie. Even the word cannot be mentioned. This story needed to be told. I just wish it had been told with a bit more grittiness to it so we would have been able to feel more deeply the struggles these guys had to go through, both in terms of their sexuality and their ethnicity. It lacked depth for me. While I enjoyed the growing up of Arjey, there was too much emphasis on that. We never got to experience the older Arjey’s life. It is all in snippets without us getting to really know him or see his emotions. The only real connection is their departing scene, but yet I could not tell the extent of what he was feeling, as we do not really know Arjey. We never really get to know the extent of the pain, the fear, and yes even the exhilaration of his growing into adulthood.
Nonetheless this is a great movie and deserves to be seen and recognized. It simply did not go far enough, and it did not deal with the underlying ethnic issues facing them with any real depth. But no movie is perfect. For what it was trying to say, I bow to its message and say KUDOS!
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