BLISS RATING: ★★★★
“Pain and suffer are close friends of mine for this pitiful life of mine. – Quote from Episode 2 from The Sting Of Lavender
Assuredly, I can inform you that this is like nothing else you have ever seen. I hesitate to call it a ‘BL’ but that is what they call it. If you are expecting anything remotely romantic or with a ‘happy ending’ you had best move on. This has little to none of the qualities of how we define BL. Yet, it is one of the most powerful, dynamic, and thought-provoking series I have ever seen.
Let us talk about the negatives first so you are prepared before you venture to watch this series. Given where and how this series has been produced, you know its production qualities are extremely limited. Although its cinematography overall is passable, its story and editing are quite chaotic and so draining to follow. The story jumps and moves quixotically about and flows unevenly. At times, the story itself makes no sense and I could not figure out if I was watching a hallucination from a dream-state, an allegory, or entering the world of the main character’s mind, losing his grasp on reality.
There is NO romance here, although that is what its intent was. This story is so full of pain, emotional instability, and abuse, it is hard to watch. It makes you feel empty, somber, and almost disconsolate. There is honestly so much torment and sadness in this series that if you are feeling the least bit depressed, I would advise you to not watch this. It is not uplifting either but there is, in a strange way, a redemptive quality to its conclusion. With a rouse that the story will move forward. What little joy you see or feel here all comes from the common yokes that we experience on a daily basis.
This series shocked me into seeing how the very small joys in life are sometimes the ones with the biggest pleasures, when there is nothing else on the horizon. I had taken all of that for granted, as I lead such a blessed life. The truth of this series is that it presents life in a whole new dimension. One full of bleakness, heartache, yet a tenacity to want to continue it no matter what the costs are or how difficult the road is. To put it bluntly, this series is a profoundly moving experience rather than a quiescent picture of conversant.
Unquestionably, this is a sad story centering around the life of Bimol (Bimol Loitongbam). Bimol is gay but wears it on his sleeve so to speak. It is obvious that he is. He is a college student trying desperately to raise his younger brother, Ton (Yumbung Purna), after the death of his mother and the drunken absence of his father. His father is abusive towards both but more so with Bimol and makes derogatory comments about his gayness. Bimol has two close friends with whom he shares much but not everything. Lizzy (Elizabeith Huidrom) knows his secret about liking males and is his almost complete confident while Chingkhei (Xed Lee), his other close friend, remains a bit distant from him because he is fearful that if he found out he was gay, their friendship would faulter.
Bimol is very fearful and terrified of getting too close to anyone. This wall that he puts up around him creates tension and causes Chingkhei to sever his friendship with Bimol. Despite Chingkehei’s bravado, he really is a very caring person and deeply loves Bimol as a friend. Bimol is just too scared to reciprocate and therefore keeps all his problems close to his chest. He lets no one know of his inner demons or the manifestations of his alter self.
Bimol turns inwardly for solace. So much so, that his alter ego becomes real to him, and this then becomes his sounding board for his actions. He literally talks to himself and ‘sees’ his other self. This other self is always giving him advice from a negative outlook and to examine his life only through a negative lens. His only option is to end his life, thus putting an end to his misery. Not only for himself but for others. His other self also tries to convince Bimol that his father is the source of his degradation, and the solution is to get him to do away with his father.
Yet, fortunately, he does not succumb totally to his negative self. Mainly because he knows and needs to take care of his brother Ton. He holds out a glimmer of hope that someday we will be with the man of his dreams.
In this case it is Albert, with whom he seems to have an uncanny yet allusive connection with.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. this series? Bimol Loitongbam as Bimol did. Unquestionably. He is not only the main focus of the story, but also the dichotomous schism of playing himself is simply remarkable. He is each other’s antithesis and does so seamlessly. It really looks like he is fighting with himself. This whole notion, while scary, is presented so matter-of-factly that it seems so real. We know it is not and he knows it is not, yet you cannot help but to be swept up into its content. We are witnessing a mental illness right before our eyes and we think it is normal. How Bimol was able to function in society is remarkable, yet he does, keeping all of that hidden and compartmentalized. His acting is so spot-on and in-the-moment, that I found myself mesmerized by what was happening. Not only was it delivered with conviction, but the writing was also excellent. Yumbung Purna as Ton has some fine moments as well and manages to play the forlorn, at time rebellious teenager, yet always in the back of his mind, so grateful for his brother and his looking after him. There are also some fine dialogues between brothers as the drudgery of their lives lumber on and the abuse by their father rears up and takes control of their lives. They then only have each other to pull themselves out of this disarray.
While the remaining performers did an admirable job in what was obviously a low-budget production, the directing here is a bit suspect. So much effort seems to have been placed with the main character that the secondary roles came across a bit just too unpolished and rushed. This is not an easy story and so the transitions from one scene to another or from one take to another needed a lot more work, so it does not look or feel so choppy. Although the story is about Bimol, the secondary cast could have been better utilized to support and enhance Bimol’s journey. The scenes with Bimol and Ton were good and a bit more grounded. Lizzy and Bimol were also fairly good as well. But the others seemed like they were thrown in with not much thought effort, or practice. And most of the scenes with Albert were disjointed and messy.
There is one thing, however, that this ‘BL’ has that others do not and that is guts. And a fortitude to tackle a subject matter few, if any BLs will even talk about. This BL centers around an essentially poverty-stricken guy, living in rural India, marginalized, abused, broken down, made to be felt less than human, gay, and suffering from mental illness.
Yet, his fortitude gave him heart, soul and just enough passion for life to hold on to it, for his brother and himself. While his future (as well as his brother’s I might add) looks bleak, Bimol is refusing to give up. How can you not want him to rise above all of this? With such a clear and distinct message presented so realistically, I can overlook the production flaws because they tried. They gave us the heart and soul of someone so marginalized that he is just another person in the sea of humanity. Yet, briefly, we get to see him. We get to hear his story. We get to feel his pain. We experience his misery and destitution. And through all of that, we still see him hopeful.
This series is based upon a true story. It is therefore worthy of our consideration and support. It has mine, indeed.
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