BLISS RATING: ★★★★
“I feel miserable and my pride ‘s all hurt. But what can I do when I just can’t let go? It’s a living hell day after day. Can’t you like me too?” – Quote from Secret Relationships
The above quote does more than epitomize this series; it encapsulates its theme. And also, my feelings about this series. I loved the story but found myself experiencing revulsion in some of its more disconcerting parts. One has to be intrigued, perhaps even mesmerized, by its premise, but at the same time perplexed by how sick, twisted, and convoluted a love can get. Especially when that love is not projected outwardly but only inwardly. I must have what I want at any cost no matter what I have to pay to get it. That is both sad and sick.
Jung Da On (Kim Jun Seo) is a hard-working handsome assistant manager at a company who is essentially aloof and seems to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. The story identifies why that is the case. In reality, given what challenges he has faced, it is perhaps fortitudinous he is able to function as well as he does. Unfortunately, since he sees weaknesses as imperfections, he tries to manage everything on his own, rather than display any characteristic showing weakness such as asking for help or assistance.
Conflict with the new assistant manager, Ju Seong Hyeon (Cha Sun Hyung) begins before he even enters the building. Yet, that is only a prelude of their relationship as the two try and navigate not only a working relationship but also a personal one. Seong Hyeong almost immediately becomes attracted to Da On, despite his aloofness and stand-offish behaviors. And his obvious strange involvement if not fixation with two other men in his life. Da On seems beaten down by them and almost controlled by them yet is managing to steadily struggle against their obvious power over him. The story reveals how and why they seem to have such a hold over him.
The hold that Sin Jae Min (Kim Ho Young) and Kim Su Hyeon (Cha Yung Woo) have over Da On is an easy one to understand but a difficult one to truly fathom. Both have been and continue to be deeply and to some degree irrationally in love with Da On since their college days. So much so that they made this agreement that neither one would nor could have him. However, it does not stop either from trying with both going to maniacal and clandestine methods to do so. As time pressed on, both wanted to taste the forbidden fruit. So much so that both lost control and contact with any real sense of right and wrong. Thus, creating constant fear and an inability for Da On to move on with his life. While he loved both, they were at two different times and for different reasons. And until he realized that the past could not be recaptured, there would be no growth or even moving forward.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. this series? The level of sincerity and intensity in this series is beyond scale. It had to be to make sure this series did not drift into subliminal depictions. As it was, we see Su Hyeon lose complete control of rational thinking and become nearly uncontrollable, easily giving in to every anger demon within him. Meanwhile, the cold, calculating manipulative Jae Min has lost any anchor to this world and its norm. The acting skills of Cha Yung Woo and Kim Ho Young to make these two unscrupulous characters come to life is outstanding. We neither pitied them nor hated them. All we saw were two individuals who could never move on with their lives and allowed the festering of their hatred to grow to such a cancerous state, that they were not human anymore. Who undoubtedly would win your heart is Cha Sun Hyung as Seong Hyeon. He saw something within Da On that frankly I would never see and was willing to humiliate himself and stay by his side until Da On realized what was finally in front of him. It is an admirable portrayal of someone so deeply in love with someone that was willing to overlook all the flaws within the individual until he opened his eyes. An admirable quality but one that had to have taken a toll on Seon Hyeon’s own psyche.
This series has so much going for it. Acting is superb. Screenplay is surprisingly strong and sharp. The cinematography is captivating and succinct, given that this series is not very long. Yet, I had such mixed feelings about this series. Perhaps it was because it goes so deep into the despair and sickness of three-way love connections. With each knowing how the other felt about one another, the outcome was bound to lead to toxicity and bitterness and a heaping amount of resentment.
Given the fact that Da On was a product of an abusive upbringing did not help when he became a love object between two powerful and forceful men who wanted him. Rather than dealing with all this rationally, which I know is difficult when it comes to matter of love, they handled it with malevolence. The individual who handled it in the least productive manner, unfortunately, was Da On. Seemingly rational and stable, he lived in agony for many years trying to cope. When someone like Seong Hyeon comes around and shakes up his world order and forces him to see the ugliness around him, his world begins to fall apart, and he realizes how malignant his world has been. Pretending that it was not so does not make it so.
The ending of this saga is just too Pollyanna and is not based upon any sense of reality. Da On needs a lot of therapy. To pretend otherwise is naïve and foolish. Seong Hyeon can not be an end all and be all for him. That is not fair to him. Da On has been traumatized and abused significantly in his life. While it is great that he has a loving and supportive partner, a long recovery is needed for Da On. If you are going to present stories of this nature that get so very deep into the abuse and mistreatment by others, you need to understand that the outcome is not always going to be so rosy. Perhaps that is why I had such a mixed reaction to this series. From a presentation point of view, this series is outstanding. Even the love angle, for a South Korean BL is strong (but the kissing was weak and uncomfortable). What felt off was the rushed ending that everything was going to be fine, and everyone learned their lesson or would be given their due justice. I just felt that was too sugary to be true or accurate. Da On and by default Seong Hyeon will need a lot of psychological support and nurturing along the way to developing a solid relationship to lessen the fears and anxieties of establishing a loving bond.
It would be nice to see a BL actually deal with a relationship not just in its development but also in its ongoing establishment as that is where the real love is.
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