BLISS RATING: ★★★
“I have been and – and always shall be – your friend.” – Quote from Star Trek
While there are plenty of quotes that I could have used to introduce this series, I chose the one above because it seems so timeless and iconic. If you are even remotely familiar with Kirk and Spock from Star Trek, then it makes sense. They had a bond that could best be described as one that reconceptualized friendship. This series, purely and simply, is about friendship – rearranged. However, there are twists and turns to this storytelling that may project what you are seeing could be deeper. Unequivocally, it is not. It is a story of a friendship that is seen from different perspectives and angles.
Loosely translated, the title of this series means ‘don’t give it a name’. That is so suitable. It is an indefinable story. How you interpret the meaning of the story will be based upon your vision of how you see the characters. We may not see the characters in the same way….
The story begins on a train that is about ready to leave the Mumbai station. Sitting on the platform, looking distraught and maudlin, is Kavith (Aaryan Dhawan) who Anshul (Sahil Uppal) cannot help but notice. His demeanor is rather obvious. Just as the train is pulling out, who should enter Anshul’s cabin is none other than Kavith. As conversations arise, Anshul finds out the reason why Kavith is so demoralized. He has just ended a relationship, marking the seventeenth time this has happened to him. Anshul’s expression shifts to one of bemused disbelief, unable to conceal his incredulity. Kavith lets it slip that the lost love was a man. While this puts a new twist into the conversation, Anshul shows no signs of being shocked or repelled. If anything, he seems intrigued and impressed with Kavith.
As circumstances and arrangements unfold, the two of them become fast friends and decide to become roommates together. As time passes, their friendship grows even stronger. And a heavy reliance on one another both for emotional and financial support becomes the norm for them. Anshul is an individual who comes along perhaps only once in a lifetime. He is warm, sensitive, understanding and treats individuals fairly and without distinction. All are equal to him. But he too also has his needs and Kavith has fulfilled those needs. Kavith dotes over him, pampers him, worships his son, and looks at him with starry-eyed love, which in and of itself is astonishingly reinforcing. Kavith is sweet, gentle but needy, especially for love – innocently naïve in the way he perceives love. Almost as if he is a prepubescent seeking it, not just for sexual gratification but also adult validation. And gets jealous if anyone or anything thwarts his efforts to get it. He seems to define romance in sweeping generalizations. For Kavith, love is egocentric.
Since they also share living quarters with another couple, Roohi (Siffat Gandhi) takes a keen interest in Anshul despite living with her boyfriend. This stirs quite a streak of jealousy in Kavith, and he begins to intensely dislike her.
After a particularly difficult visit by Kavith’s homophobic brother, Kavith breaks down crying afterwards. Thinking that his emotional tailspin was due to the obvious reason of his brother loathing and contempt for his lifestyle, Anshul tries to comfort him. However, Kavith confesses to Anshul that he has fallen in love and that person who he has fallen in love with is – him. That all seemed too convenient. At this point, something seemed and felt off to me, and I could not help but feel that Kavith was being manipulative. Fallacy number one.
Anshul, to his credit, makes it perfectly clear to Kavith that he cannot return the kind of love that Kavith is after. He harbors no interest in him from a romantic point of view but values his intimacy as a friend would. Kavith seemingly is aware of this and says all he desires is to be with him and love him from afar. He realizes that his is an unrequited love that will never be. And he accepts his fate. Fallacy number two.
But for Kavith the ‘never will be’ is internalized only as a ‘may never be’. He begins to perceive and imagine that Anshul is his ‘boyfriend’. To the point that he even calls him that. While Anshul tries to rectify his misconception, he frankly does so only perfunctorily, coupled with half-hearted mixed signals thrown in. He never makes it fully clear to Kavith that no matter what and under no circumstances will he ever entertain nor want to be in a romantic relationship with him. With Kavith never hearing precise words, he holds out hope and builds up more foundations in this fantasy world. Fallacy number three.
When circumstances become such that Kavith must now rely even more on Anshul both for financial and emotional support, especially after his mother disowns him, Kavith’s reality becomes even more untethered. He sinks deeper and deeper into an imaginary world where Anshul is all his. In the meantime, Anshul has become interested in a woman and has actually proposed marriage to her. When Kavith finds this out, he is completely shattered. Fallacy number four.
Kavith’s reaction was inevitable because neither was being truthful or honest with the other. The kind of love Kavith wanted from Anshul could never be. He was living in a false world and clinging on to false hope that somehow, something would change. He was not being rational and prudent. On the other hand, Anshul bears the major burden of not being direct and candid with Kavith. Yes, he did tell him that he would be hurt by an unrequited love of him, but he continued to send mixed messages and allowed himself to be drawn into Kavith’s web without making it crystal clear that they would never be lovers. Further, adding to the toxicity was Anshul choosing to deliberately not tell Kavith of his initial and ongoing relationship with a female. If this was a ‘true’ friendship, would he not be the first person Anshul would tell? Fallacy number five.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. this series? Sometimes minor characters become so pivotal, and in this case that is true with Roohi, played so aptly by Siffat Gandhi. My suspect is that Roohi picked up quickly that Kavith was romantically interested in Anshul and relished every time she could needle Kavith in order to push his buttons. Siffat’s characterization of Roohi becomes so brutally frank and upfront that she wears Kavith down to the point that he does admit his interest in Anshul. Eventually, she begins to strength the bond between the two of them as he begins to not see her anymore as a threat to try and steal Anshul. Their friendship develops to the point that she tries to warn Kavith that his actions could be a fool’s errand. But Kavith’s unrequited love is too entrenched in him to be able to see anything but some sort of salvation path to love. Secretly, Roohi knows that this will not end well but she also knows that Kavith will not listen to negative assertions.
The production of this series is top-notch except for the editing. There are parts in this series that the story did not flow as smoothly, and several scenes seem to stop and start rather abruptly. The introductions to each of the episodes are some of the best I have ever seen. They created a montage of animated captivations of each episode coupled with the beautiful introductory score that is simply brilliant. The protagonists deliver outstanding performances, skillfully portraying their characters with impressive emotional depth and conviction.
So why is it I was not moved by the story? Because I felt I was being led and manipulated. It did not feel organic for me. And has been outlined, their friendship is based on a foundation of misconceptions and illusions. While Kavith is indeed a beautiful human being, he lacks a tethering to reality. Falling in and out of ‘love’ 17 times is a serious character deficiency and clearly shows he cannot define what love is. Then to fall deeply and suddenly into an unrequited love with a committed straight man, is beyond the pale. To think that one can handle being in a constant union with an unrequited love for which he becomes your only source of human interactions and expect to stay ‘neutral’ is impossible and a recipe for disaster, as was shown here. Alerts and red flags should be going off signaling a path to failure.
In addition, Kavith has this obsessive need to be loved back but on his terms, rather than through a natural occurrence or a building up of a mutual trust between the two people who seriously want to get to know and BE together. He cannot understand why it is not happening to him. It is not because it simply cannot. He does not understand that maybe the other person just does not want to be with him.
On the other hand, Anshul cannot so easily be excused. Stating that his reluctance to inform Kavith about his girlfriend, as well as his failure to more forcibly communicate that a romantic relationship between them was unequivocally not possible, stemmed solely from a desire not to “hurt him”, appears unconvincing and hollow. Whenever Anshul engaged in interactions with Kavith that involved any degree of emotional connection, Kavith’s affection for Anshul increased significantly. Anshul was likely aware, or at minimum should have perceived, that Kavith was forming an increasingly profound emotional connection with him. It was becoming obvious. From a logical perspective when you have a gay man in an unrequited love with a straight man in such a tight relationship as they have, it NEVER leads to anything positive. No matter how much we might want to ‘wish’ it to be so.
The series’ major theme is love but it really did not get to define that until the last scene. One thing must be made clear. This is NOT a BL. This is NOT a bromance. But it then becomes a love story of friends. For me, this is a journey of two men who literally found each other on a train when each needed a reliance on someone to get them through a period in their lives when they needed someone. Yes, they are indeed friends. And they became very close friends with caveats. Can friends be soulmates? Sure. Are Anshul and Kavith soulmates? This series tries to imply that they are. The term “soulmates” suggests a profound bond, where being with someone feels truly comfortable and familiar—like home. That connection also brings a feeling of calm, security, safety, relaxation, and the impression that you have known them forever. Underly that definition, I would add that there must be a sense of acceptance of who the other individual is. I just do not see that here and to imply that it is, is wrong. Anshul sees Kavith one way. Kavith sees Ansul in another way, which is the polar opposite to how Anshul sees him. Each is defining ‘love’ in different terms.
A gay man falling in love with a ‘straight man’ is an imperilment and cannot be in any way, shape, form, or outcome, lead to anything satisfying. And to further imply that it could with the simple phrase, “I love you” is somehow all encompassing is so misguided and simplistic. Frankly, it left me feeling empty and sad. These indeed are the three most powerful words to ever be spoken but how it is understood is more powerful. Kavith loves Anshul in a way that cannot be rectified somewhere in the middle. Unless he is willing and able to give up his unrequited love for Anshul – forever. From a gay man’s perspective, that is nearly, if not totally, impossible. And asking him to do so is unfair. He must learn on his own that he cannot have him.
There is no good outcome with the continued pairing of these two individuals. I am not trying to deny that a bond exists between the two, but each exists in two different, distinct worlds. And to think their worlds can be bridged is not only wrong, but it is also harmful.
I feel bad about this review as I admired the performers and the production efforts. Watch it for the brilliance of the acting and the way it was presented. However, I found the story’s intent, from a gay perspective, just not credible, actual, and overall found it profoundly disappointing. To me, this looked like screenwriters/director trying to make a “feel-good” story between a gay man and a straight man work – filling it with innuendo, supercharging it emotionally with heart stringed scenarios, and let ‘love’ conquer all. That is nonsensical thinking and for me it comes close to bordering on queerbaiting. Not done with malicious intent of course and obviously not even unconsciously on anyone’s radar, but the result is the same. Frankly and honestly, straight men know NOTHING about the fragility, and all that it encompasses, of gay men. And stop suggesting/lecturing how a gay man should think or feel or behave. Here again, it is another example, subtle but nonetheless very evident, that straight people have all the answers just like Kavith’s brother and mother do. Anshul is saying, “stick to my plan and we can be soulmates.” ‘Love’ me back on MY terms and we will be all right. For the moment, Kavith may be seduced by the offer and succumbs to the ‘good feeling’. But for how long and what is the ultimate price?
The reality is there is nothing but pain, deep pain, not just for the gay principal but also for the straight protagonist that lay ahead if they remain together as ‘friends’, given as the story is presented. Indeed, Kavith will be getting the ‘consolation price’ which Anshul is asking him to accept for them to continue their friendship. That is untenable. And an “I love you” will not be sustainable. That is simply magical thinking.
Perhaps I am one of only a few who do not want this series to continue. There will be no happy endings here. Anshul cannot and should not suddenly become gay; that would be reprehensible and disingenuous. Kavith cannot continue to live with Anshul; that would be torturous and insensitive. Should either or both find significant others? Maybe. Perhaps. The bottom line is that just because they ‘love’ each other does not necessarily mean that they can/should be together. We all know that. If there ever was a truism, this one is foundational.
The story’s overriding theme must be more utilitarian and less utopian. This is a fallacious story; not an uplifting one.
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