BLISS RATING: ★★★★★
“It is okay for you to be vulnerable with me.” – Quote from Theory Of Love
Soulful, emotional, and brilliant. It is an epic love story more than a BL series. The acting is perfection and captured the essence of each of their characters flawlessly. For me, this is a masterpiece and is a cinematic gem. Why do I say this? I shall try and give it justice. It is a ‘love’ story between Third (Gun Atthaphan) and Khai (Off Jumpol). They meet as freshman and Third is instantly attracted to Khai and falls deeply in love with him. To say that it is a story of unrequited love would be an understatement. It is so much more than that though. It is a heartache of almost unimaginable intensity. It is a story of abuse, neglect, and hurt.
Khai is a self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic person who takes advantage of Third for years. While he may not be able to articulate it or even recognize it, he ‘knows’ (senses) that Third is vulnerable and has to at some level realize that Third’s relationship with him is far more intense than mere friendship. Khai is a playboy who never commits to any one girl for very long. Third is the victim of all of this and because they are such good friends, sees Khai in every form — good, bad, kind, ugly, self-centered, generous, and most importantly, unable to really love. Why does he put up with him? It is the standard abuse response. ‘I’d rather be his friend than not have him in my life’.
For over three years, Third represses his feelings for Khai, choosing to be his ‘friend’ rather than risk losing him. Throughout that time, Third begins to build walls around him internally, slowly, but surely and effectively. The pain that Third had to endure was almost unbearable to watch and you wanted to just shake him into some sort of reality. Why can’t you see how abusive he is? He kept hoping for some type of reciprocity, but it never comes. On the other hand, Khai sees nothing but himself and his pleasures. When finally, Third does confess his feelings for Khai (in a remarkable beautiful scene reminiscent of the move Love, Actually), it is lost on him. He cannot control his self-centeredness nor his flaw of not being able to truly love anyone. In the vulnerable exposure to confessing his love for Khai, there is ultimate betrayal, not by rejection but by denial.
Finally, Third begins to break away from this toxicity and buries himself in his studies but at a real and genuine cost. He also closes himself off from love and deepens his mistrust for anyone trying to reach him, particularly Khai. When Khai finally does begin to realize the depth of Third’s love for him, it is too late. Third has shut down and cannot, more importantly, will not see him any more than a friend. He cannot, at this point. Khai slowly and painfully learns that what he had done is exactly what is happening to him. You cannot win anyone over with charm and wit, especially Third. He longs for a deeper relationship and does not, cannot, and will not go through all that pain again. The walls are now closed off and impenetrable.
The screenplay of this series is nothing short of brilliant. It references movies and is a story about four guys wanting to be in the film industry, hence the many references to movies. The other two characters in this series are also brilliant. Two (White Nawat) is Third’s best friend. He finds out that Third is in love with Khai and tries to be supportive of him. His role as friend is outstanding and is truly there for Third and Khai, as he is friends with both. His also has a painful story of reality as well. He must grapple with feelings that are unknown to him and perhaps even scary to him.
It is a slow burn to an unusual relationship that I did not think was going to happen and that is what made this tale so interesting. He plays his part with quiet dignity and in a genuine sense of wanting to help. But you know that Two is profoundly changed when he does a simple act of helping Un (Earth Pirapat) rescues him from his fear of darkness. This characterization is flawless.
The fourth member of this group is Bone (Mike Chinnarat). His story is again not what I expected. A mysterious woman comes to his coffee/video shop where he works and has a deep and profound influence on him but in a very undertone fashion. He does something that is rarely seen in either movies or series anymore. He makes an outstanding sacrifice of his own happiness for someone else’s. He does so in such a mature, thoughtful, and sensitive manner that I was deeply moved by his fortitude. All of this is so softly played that you can sense, feel, and see his pain in what he had to sacrifice.
All these actors and the other supporting actors and actresses were simply brilliant in this story that never wavered from its character. It shows the raw feelings, the pain of abuse, the hurt of neglect, the loneliness of feeling taken for granted, coupled with the reality of having to give up your soul for others. It is gritty, melancholic, pensive, but still full of life and love. It never goes overboard, and the emotions are so genuine and real that it is almost scary. The characters are SO flawed but unbelievably real.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. the series? Given the above statements, so many would deserve this distnciton. But I lean towards Gun as Third. This was an intense role and he had to show that intensity throughout the production. Initially with passivity and longing and finally to a realization that he is also a human being with worth. And he did so with much conviction. There was a remarkable range of emotions that had to be felt by the character and Gun could show us all of them. Kudos.
The journey to love for Khai and Third is painful to watch and difficult emotionally. What affected me the most was how they portrayed love as both a giver of life and a taker of happiness. It is a source of pleasure and pain that is so deep that it might never be fully in balance. It portrays love, as the story tells, as ‘an opportunity once lost may never return’.
What this story also displays with a wicked reality is how the small gestures in life can have such painful consequences and hinders, perhaps forever, the ability to ever trust or love someone. The irony of this story was that in the beginning, Third was the absolute give of love unconditionally but by the end he doled out just enough so that he would not be hurt again. While Khai, who was incapable of loving anyone, becomes the beacon and source of love, ever trying to make up for his past mistakes. Painful lessons, painful reality. But I am not convinced that Third’s self-imposed walls around him will ever be fully shattered.
This series left me emotionally drained and in a real sense feeling heartbroken. Its characters are seriously flawed, victims of others AND themselves, but also willing to sacrifice. Getting to love and giving love are not always straightforward or a series of rom-com events.
The way this series presented love was imaginative, real, and profoundly moving. It is not an easy watch but one that will make you stop and think about how your own actions may deeply affect the path of others to their own understanding of who and what they are. This is on my short list of outstanding series. For me, it is brilliant!
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