BLISS RATING: ★★★★★
“But I’m just a pebble rolling around on the dirt ground.” – A Quote from My Beautiful Man 2
While this series is short, it is so profound and a brilliant piece of art. It truly is in a class all by itself. It is like taking a walk through the mind of toxicity and coming out somehow enlightened by the experience. Their love just should not be. Yet here it is. In my review of MY BEAUTIFUL MAN 1, I described it as finding love in its most toxic form. And this is a continuation of that analysis.
Does that make the love wrong? Oh God, no! It simply makes it different. That is all. This story is unique to Kiyoi Sou (Yusei Yagi) and Hira Kazunari (Hagiwara Riku) and can only be seen through their eyes. Anyone else is clouded by their own personal judgements. In the case of Kiyoi and Hira, they have their own special bond.
In this story, Hira and Kiyoi live together. As what, I am not sure. More than friends but less than lovers. Hira is finishing up college and is unsure and uncertain of his future. He continues to see himself as a loser and unworthy of anything in life that is pleasurable. His self-depreciation and self-loathing are so toxic that it becomes almost all consuming.
Kiyoi, on the other hand, is equally as damaged, but is able to function in society and fool people. Yet, he keeps his distance and centers himself only around himself and one other person – Hira. These two completely and totally live in their own world.
Each worshiping the other and yet both not wanting to act on what really draws them to each other. And that is love. Both realize it but only Kiyoi recognizes it and keeps trying to push and prod Hira into not seeing him, as a king or himself as unworthy, but as his equal. Kiyoi finally confesses his love for Hira but in true Hira fashion, is too repellent to accept it. Not unable to see it; just unwilling to do so. And until Hira can take a step in the direction of seeing himself as worthy, this relationship will always remain toxic.
Hira is such a complex individual who has such a low opinion of himself. He stutters, feels completely unworthy, and looks at Kiyoi as an aspiration rather than a person. Always striving but never able to reach it. Yet right there he is. In the flesh. Waiting to be consumed.
What changes for Hira is that he is able to receive validation from an outside source by someone who is so close to him mentally that perhaps at one time, they were the same. But he has now risen above that which gives Hira a sense of hope.
What makes this story so riveting is that they cannot remain apart from each other. Kiyoi in his mind is already in a relationship with Hira. They are so intertwined and encircle each other like soulmates. To us, it looks toxic. But to them it is simply a path to their journey of finding love. Only understood by them, as it should be.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. this series? Unquestionably, both these actors deserve this distinction. Although Kiyoi was not a particularly likeable character in Season 1, I found him shedding the cloak of arrogance and uncharacterically completely devoted to Hira in helping him overcome his insecurities. Yusei Yagi as Kiyoi shows great amplitude in showing how devoted he is to Hira yet keep his core personality traits. And in a sense making those traits something that is endearing and take the form of affection towards Hira. He understands it while I do not. Hagiwara Riku as Hira is just fascinating. He plays the hapless creature, full of doubt about himself with such conviction that his whole-body screams sadness. His entire affect is consumed with self-loathing, yet we cannot help but to feel sorry for him. And he subtly gives us glimmers of breakthroughs that make us feel hopeful. Both do so in a very faint fashion. When the two are together, they are complementary to each other in a weird way that is almost indescribable. I understand Hira’s feelings of inadequacies and his feelings of ‘how could he ever love me’ in contrast to Kiyoi’s phenomenal beauty and seductiveness. He could have anyone. But Kiyoi recognizes that Hira is in love with him not merely for his looks. He sees beyond that. And, in turn, so does Kiyoi of Hira’s self-doubts. All these intense emotions are done with sharp precision and in conjunction with how insecure these two characters are. It is not overt, but we know it is there. And so do they. It is some fine acting.
Admittedly, this series is somewhat hard to watch because it does not present love in the conventional sense of the word. It redefines it in different terms. Almost abusively but more in the sense of a ‘cat-and-mouse’ game to play. Both like to play. Both want to be together. Both relish it. Yet, since they are humans, they crave the completeness of love. Kiyoi in Season 1 was in control. In Season 2, it was Hira in control, perhaps not realizing it initially. But when he does, when he finally gets it, he takes control and leans over and kisses Kiyoi. With conviction and with a feeling that it is too late to turn back.
They have arrived at a new level. Where will it go? Unknown but I am sure it will be a captivating journey that only those two can travel on.
For me, one of the best in 2023.
Leave a Reply