BLISS RATING: F
“I don’t know what happiness looks like. I don’t even know what kind of expression to make.” – Quote from Double Helix
To be sure, I have seen my fair share of malignancy in BLs over the years, but this version is the most toxic, unimaginably abusive, comprehensively dysfunctional, and severely emotionally disturbed series I have ever seen. And shame on anyone and everyone who thinks there was any ‘artistic’ value or worse, thought they saw anything that even resembled a loving relationship. This is a sick, toxic, demented series filled with two of the most mentally deranged individuals ever. And we need to stop pretending or excusing that the significant abuse being shown is in any way shape or form signs of “love”. I am sick of balefulness being guised as cinematic artistry. It is not. It is ALL mistreatment and harmful and morally, ethically, and legally wrong and reprehensible.
This series is frankly indescribably bad. It starts out loving but for reasons that are out of control of the two who happen to fall in love, are unable to further their relationship. Both emotionally fragile individuals are constrained by dominating and/or controlling families. Life sucks. But what it comes down to is how we learn to deal with the tragedies of life and not being able to get everything we want out of life. A sign of growth is when we learn to ‘move on’ in productive ways and/or accept the fate that is given to us and painfully learn to live within a normal range, clinging to or tethering to endurance. Growth is not just necessarily about “letting go” or “moving on” in the motivational‑poster sense. It is about developing the capacity to respond to reality with more flexibility, less resistance, and a clearer sense of what’s within our control. Or at the very, very least coping with the idea we are not entitled to have everything we want in life.
Not so for our protagonists. Lu Feng (Ayden Sng) internalizes his pain and projects it outward. Xia Yichen (Lu Si Tong) internalizes his pain and projects it inward. Both protagonists were products of despicable upbringings. Lu Feng suffered from an abusive father, both in terms of physical violence and psychological victimization, while Xia suffered from mental and emotional torment and subjugation from his controlling mother and her irrational demands. Both protagonists deserved our deepest respect and compassion. These families caused their ardent and intrinsic love for one another to split. Not voluntarily but forcibly apart. Inducing both to fester in how each consequently saw the split in the eyes of the other. Thus, the seeds of toxicity in each began to grow.
Years later when fate has them reunite again, rather than dealing with the legitimate pain each suffered from others, they begin percolating in a fantasy world of hurt each created. More so Lu Feng, who now has become quite successful. And invincible. Yet, both were deceitful.
By the time they get together, Lu Feng has fully lost contact with reality and elects to become possessive of Xia to make sure he does not lose him again. Drugging then kidnapping him, raping him, physically abusing him, culminating in holding him against his will, and psychologically torturing him. Even causing him to consider suicide to escape from his clutches. When Xia finally breaks free of him, what does he do? Xia runs back to Lu Feng under a false sense of love, a bulwark, and an irrational belief that Lu Feng will fall apart if he is not there. Xia has convinced himself, via torture and abuse, that he loves Lu Feng and Lu Feng needs him to be by his side.
I found all that nonsensical ‘stand by your man’ compassion appalling. He was nothing more than a victim of narcissistic abuse. This is exactly the same pattern of behavior that he fell into with his mother. It saddened and sickened me to think that Xia (again) is so fragile that he was so easily convinced in his captivity that he somehow needs, longs for, and desires someone who drugged, raped, tortured, kidnapped, abused him, enslaved him, and made him consider suicide, and later extensively lied to him, somehow convinced him he remains worthy of love. That by any definition in any book by any standard is not love. It is a sickness, a mental illness. Xia suffers from something as well. While I am no psychiatrist, it seems to be that Xia also has a whole host of mental health disorders that have not been diagnosed. I can only guess but a few conditions come to mind such as an extreme co-dependency disorder, fragile self-esteem, low self-worth, trauma bonding, separation anxiety, DARVO, Stokholm Syndrome, inferiority complex, etc.
Who really S.T.O.L.E. this series? Xia has a brother Cheng Yichen played by He Jiashu whom he has protected and nurtured the relationship with Qin Lang played by Fe Xuange. These two offered a nice counterbalance to the toxicity of the other relationship. While his brother tried to get Xia to see how toxic his relationship was with Lu Feng, he never could convince him. These two, however, offer such a safe, sane, and stable counterbalance to the malignancy of Xia and Lu Feng. Unfortunately, Chen Yichen and Qin Lang did not know the true extent of abuse Xia had been facing. Outwardly, Xia looks and acts somewhat ‘normal’. It is difficult to wrap your head around absurd toxicity with a picture of near perfect normalcy.
The series tries to take a redemptive arc but fails miserably at it. Almost immediately upon returning to this toxic soup-mix, Xia begins to see Lu Feng decompensate again. His jealousy rages and his possessiveness takes another very ugly turn. And his reason for continuing to stay is his undying love for an abusive, toxic, possessive lover? Xia finds out that Lu Feng has been seeing a psychiatrist that has been treating him for some time. He is told that Lu Feng has a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, which I do not think comes even close to his full diagnosis. Again, although I am no psychiatrist, I would non-clinically add to that diagnosis: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. While I do not know the laws covering legal, ethical, moral standards of doctors in Thailand, the level of psychiatric incompetency displayed was beyond the pale. Do basic research before you display some outlandish scenes. That was simply wrong on all levels. A psychiatrist knew Lu Feng needed serious medical hospitalization and was committing acts that were clearly illegal (at least in the United States and I am guessing in most other nations) and did absolutely nothing about it. I can tell you that ANY psychiatrist who would pretend to be a patient’s ‘lover’, willingly know that your patient was actively abusing and kidnapping others, and was obviously in critical need of mental hospitalization, and NOT take legal action, would lose their license and likely face his/her own criminal charges That whole exchange just sickened me.
I am disgusted by anyone who has romanticized this nonsense. Are you glorifying and accepting someone being drugged, raped, physically tortured, enslaved, psychologically abused all because he excessively ‘loved’ him! And that is your definition of love!? And for the victim to go back for more! And to not think that is unhinged and as mad as a hatter?! This is a prime example of capture-bonding. What message are we sending to the gay community when time after time we see nothing but abuse and torture as an acceptable path to love? This is NOT love. This is victimization guised as love. Repeatedly, I keep sermonizing, if this was a ‘straight’ series, what would be the outcry if a man did this to a woman. Would this be viewed as acceptable? Would this be seen as ‘love’? But because it is two men who are in a nebulous and ill-defined relationship with one, because of his tacitness and timidity, seemingly implying a consensual agreement, makes it agreeable? Never.
Neither individual is functioning on all thrusters or with a full deck. It completely and totally sends a wrong message to the gay community (all communities for that matter) that ANYONE who does this to another human being is not displaying love. No matter how much one may cry, weep, beg and proselytize that one is sorry or loves you. And if you continue to accept this AS a form of love, then you are just as sick as that individual, and both are in need of extensive therapy.
This story is also so wrong in projecting that a short stent in a hospital is somehow going to ‘cure’ Lu Feng. It will not. He had no fallout to his abhorrent behavior and to make any excuse that he ‘learned his lesson’ is completely disingenuous. Besides, only one side of a two-sided problem is being treated. Xia is NOT well equally and needs extensive therapy and help, which this series did not even attempt to address. Its only interest was in telling a superficial ‘love’ story and coming up with a happy ending. This is just so wrong.
I hated and loathed this story. Sure, the acting is good. I have nothing against the actors or the actual production value of the series. But this story sends out a wrong message about what gay love is. This series has absolutely no socially redeeming value or artistic strength to it at all. There were no consequences for the loathsome acts that Lu Feng did to Xia. All his actions were blatantly illegal, and he should have been charged with criminal conduct. Further, the others who were part of his criminal activities (e.g. the psychiatrist, his assistant, and Xia’s ‘wife’) paid no consequences for their conspiracies. Utterly shameful. Not anyone, around Lu Feng or Xia or associates who might have suspected something, actually had the minimum decency to report any of this to the police, even anonymously.
This is not love in any form and no one should ever look upon this as any type of romantic interaction or in any type of positive light. There is none here. Period. This is toxic from beginning to end. This is the worst BL I have ever had to watch. The toxicity level borders on evilness in this series. And to just allow the victim to merely ‘forgive’ the ‘abuser’ without facing consequences is morally reprehensible to me. Lu Feng is not worthy of love and Xia is frankly unable to love as he has no idea how to love.
I have never given a series a “F” – until now. I regret with every fiber of my being ever having watched this series and wish it had not been made.
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